Hair Cut
by xotakux2002x
Summary: kakuzu thinks hidan needs a hair cut; put lightly, the masochist disagrees. kakuhidan, yaoi, oneshot


"What the fuck are you looking at?" Hidan was sitting on the bed, watching Kakuzu. The banker had been working on counting his money, but had suddenly turned around and begun staring at his partner.

Kakuzu moved towards Hidan, sitting beside his partner on the bed. "Hidan…."

"What?"

"I'm going to give you a haircut."

You may as well have ordered Hidan to renounce Jashin.

"FUCK NO!!" Hidan tried to run for it, but Kakuzu quickly wrapped an arm around the Jashinist's waist, holding him to the banker's chest with ease. "I'm not getting a fucking haircut, asshole! Now let me go, dammit!"

"Hidan, your hair's out of control-"

"WHAT ABOUT YOURS?! That damn mess broke three fucking combs the last time I tried to smooth it down, and I think it's gonna fucking attack me in my sleep!"

"Yes, but mine is a manageable length, whereas yours goes down to your shoulder blades. At this rate, people are going to start calling you a girl like Deidara or Itachi."

"Don't even fucking joke about that."

"Then you'll get a haircut?"

"……………..Fine."

"Good." Kakuzu released his partner. Hidan bolted out the door before the banker could even blink. "Damn, he's fast."

"Got any threes, un?"

"Go fish, brat." The two artists, Kisame, and Itachi were all sitting in the living room, playing go fish. Pein was sitting on the couch, watching Animal Planet. "Kisame, isn't that your mom?" the shark was about to fling a few choice words in the leader's direction, when a loud crash interrupted them. "I DON'T FUCKING WANNA!"

CRASH

"Hidan, get your ass back here!"

CLANG

"DON'T YOU DARE USE THAT SCYTHE ON ME!" The sound of running could be heard, followed by a ripping noise. "Jashin dammit, give me back my fucking leg!"

CRASH

"Put me down!"

"Hidan, this is going to happen whether you want it or not, so kindly SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"FUCK YOU!"

WHAM

"PUT MY FUCKING HEAD BACK ON!!" A moment later the five Akatsuki members heard a door open and shut. "Kakuzu's try to rape Hidan again?" Pein asked, eyes still glued to the TV.

"Sounds like it," Itachi stated in a bored tone.

"Dammit, they better not have broken anything this time."

Hidan's body lay in a corner while the banker went to work on the zealot's hair. Hidan growled and swore as he snapped at Kakuzu's hand, but to no avail. Finally resigning himself to his fate, the Jashinist held still, praying that his god would smite him already and save him from this humiliation. After what seemed like an eternity, Kakuzu finally stood and walked over to the Jashinist's body, reattaching the head. "Now was that so bad?"

"Yes," Hidan growled, walking over to the bed and sulking. Kakuzu smirked and followed his partner, sitting down behind him. "Come on, it's still down to the top of your shoulder, so quit pouting."

"Go to hell." Kakuzu ignored the command and wrapped his arms around Hidan's waist, pulling the Jashinist close. "What if I make you feel better?"

Hidan sent his partner a spiteful glare. "And how the fuck are you gonna do that, asshole?" Kakuzu smirked and kissed the crook of Hidan's neck. "Oh, I can think of a few things…" he bit down on the Jashinist's neck, drawing blood.

Hidan tried to pull away. "Oh hell no!" Kakuzu merely grabbed the sleeves of Hidan's cloak and let him go. The Jashinist pulled away and smiled triumphantly.

Until he realized he'd helped Kakuzu start to undress him. "Fuck."

Kakuzu stood up and moved towards the immortal, pulling off his mask and tossing it onto the floor. "Hidan, come here."

"NEVER!" Hidan tried to run for the door but found he couldn't move his feet. He looked down and saw black threads wrapped tightly around his ankles. He narrowed his eyes and looked back up at his partner, who by now was mere inches from his face. "I fucking hate you."

"Really?" Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's hands and pinned them behind him, using threads to bind them in place. He smirked down at his irritated partner, before firmly pressing his lips against Hidan's.

The immortal pulled away but was quickly captured in another kiss, this one more demanding. He slowly began to return the kiss, not quite ready to forgive his partner for the earlier incident. Kakuzu bit his lower lip and Hidan allowed the banker entrance, tongue dueling against the miser's. Kakuzu's threads began snaking along Hidan's arms, poking and prodding. Hidan gasped as the threads broke skin, ripping thin, jagged lines down his arms and giving Kakuzu a chance for dominance. He moaned in pleasure as the threads on his legs joined in the pain, tearing into his body and stitching him back together as quickly as they'd hurt him. "Damn you…" he whispered when Kakuzu pulled away.

The banker's threads move up Hidan's spine and wrapped around his neck, tilting Hidan's head back. "Still mad?" He leaned in and attacked the base of Hidan's throat, teeth sinking into the thin skin and making the Jashinist bleed. "How much pain do you want, hmm?"

"More…" Hidan winced as the threads dug in deeper, leaving deep, jagged cuts on his body and making his legs give out. "Better?"

"Yeah." Hidan looked up and crashed his lips against Kakuzu's, arching into the banker. Kakuzu wrapped his arms around Hidan and pulled him closer, stepping back and pulling them towards the bed. He pushed Hidan down and ripped off the Jashinist's pants before removing his own. Kakuzu trapped Hidan in a passionate kiss, fingers running down the Jashinist's bleeding arm and coating his fingers in blood. He smeared the crimson liquid on his cock before moving Hidan's legs to straddle him. He pulled away and smirked sadistically at his partner. Hidan barely had time to register the smile's meaning before Kakuzu thrust in, making him scream and dig his nails into the bed. "FUCK!"

Kakuzu slowly pulled out before slamming back into the smaller man, earning another scream. He began to slam into Hidan over and over, a steady rhythm soon developing. Hidan began to moan as the pain turned to pleasure, stars flashing before his eyes every time Kakuzu hit the right spot inside him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been given this much pleasure in bed. He felt a fiery coil build up in his stomach, moving him so very close to that blissful edge. "KUZU!" he cried, exploding on their stomachs. Kakuzu climaxed seconds later deep within Hidan.

As soon as he caught his breath, Kakuzu stood and picked Hidan up. "Come on. You need a bath." Hidan didn't protest and allowed Kakuzu to carry him into their bathroom, sitting him down on the edge of the bathtub. The banker turned the water on and climbed into the shower, pulling Hidan with him. They quickly washed off, with Hidan spending most of his time trying to keep Kakuzu's hands off him. As soon as they were done they climbed out and dried off, heading for bed. Hidan climbed in and stared sadly at the ground, looking at the pile of silver locks neither one of them had bothered to clean up. "I still can't believe you fucking cut my damn hair."

"Why not?" Kakuzu asked, climbing in behind his partner and wrapping his arms around Hidan's waist, pulling him down onto the bed.

"Actually, I can." Hidan sighed as he felt Kakuzu nuzzle against him. "I still fucking hate you."

"I love you too." Hidan smirked and shut his eyes. Alright, he could tolerate his partner.

But the next time he was threatened with a hair cut, he was hightailing it the Land of Snow.


End file.
